What are your thoughts on it?
Kids or no kids,you have an opinion,right?
I'm looking for them all,from all of you,kids or not.
What would you do?
What approach would you take when confronted by the reality
of your kid,being interested in another kid
in THAT way?
What advice,warnings,thoughts,
experiences do you have to share??
I personally would like to lock him up til he's 25
and never have to think about any of this but
obviously that's not possible. Or is it??? Hehehehe
I eagerly await your comments!
Wednesday, September 26, 2007
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13 comments:
My sister has a teenage boy who has a girlfriend. They're allowed to watch movies together in the den (!) but my sister makes a lot of noise so they know she's in the house.
I guess personally, I think it should be allowed; it helps build up the social skills they'll need for relationships later on. But maybe with an accompanying safe sex lecture and condoms/the Pill?
My girls have always known that theycan't date until their 16. That may not seem very strict, but you would not believe how many 13 and 14 year olds go out on "real" dates. Our oldest is 15 and she has actually evolved into a young lady who is very conscientious about dating and sex and boundaries.She has had plentyof boyfriends over the years (which I don't have a problem with; I actually want my girls to be friends with a lot of boys so she can find out what the "right" kind ofboy will be for her someday later on), but she has yet go out on a date. When she hits 16 this coming March, I think she will be so much better prepared for it because she's had to wait. When she can date, though, she knows that weare going to prefer group dates and double dates too. I've had other parents even challenge me on making her wait until she's 16, but I know it's what's best.
Sorry for the LONG comment....
:-)
teenagers will and do have sex, arm him with LOTS AND LOTS of info. Prepare him good!
I started dating when I was about 15 1/2. I think 16 is about the right age nowadays......for REAL dates.
good luck!!
I"m sure you can imagine the shock on my face, when my little 9 year old neice told me this past summer, that she dates. Now here definition of dates is far from what it was when we were young .. but the fact that she CALLS it that, is disturbing to me.
Obviously I have no advice for you,because my oldest is only 8 and I hope and pray she avoids boys for another ten years or more .. (wishful thinking, I know) .. but I think if your son's "dates" are more like just hanging out with a friend that happens to be a girl .. that can be okay and healthy. Letting them hole themselves up in a room without supervision is obviously asking for the inevitable. Kids these days are having sex far earlier then we ever imagined to when we were there ages .. so I do agree to arming them with as much info as you can .. but also within reason. I'm not sure where I stand on the whole thing about giving them condoms/the pill .. and if that's trying to prevent things for them or if that's sending a message of condoning those sorts of behaviours.
I wish you the best of luck as you sort and feel your way through this chapter of life.
I agree with the others that 16 is a good age for real dating. Before that I think it is ok to have friends over or to go out as a group with other kids like say skating or to the movies. If they are in the house together they must be with an adult or at least keep the bedroom door open at all times.
Growing up I don't think "dated" until in my late teens. My dad was sort of strict.
For my girls, I'm going to allow boys over to watch TV/Movies, in the living room, while we're there ONLY. I don't see a problem w/my girls having boy-friends. As far as one/one dating I don't think they'll be doing that until maybe Homecoming in H.S., 16-17 years old. IMO they're not responsible enough to do that any sooner. I might do like my mom, drop/pick up at a movie but that's it. And you bet your ass I'll be there early enough to make sure they walk out of the theatre & not out of the bushes! lol
Well, I see this is quite a "hot" topic. Having raised 3 sons, now adults, I'll admit to being "old school" Like barngoddess said....teens have sex on the brain 24/7. Knowing that, we made sure that we openly talked about abstinence, birth control and made it a comfortable topic to discuss, taking embarrassment out of the picture.Obviously there are going to be certain things that are meant to keep private and discussed with the same sex parent. I certainly DO NOT promote dating until the boy can pick up his date, and up until then my boys could only go out in a group setting, supervised. We always had their friends over to our home, but again, never left behind closed doors.
We felt we had a responsibility to protect our boys from being in a place of temptation. However,if any of them did father a child, we made certain they knew they would have to take responsibility of helping support it. I have two daughters-in-law who had dead-beat Ex's that glibly walked away from their child...I don't thing sons should be getting away with that!!
I like the idea of watching movies at the house supervised.
Besides, then you know what they're up to. (Insert evil laugh here.)
I'm not looking forward to this stage.
I'm going to encourage going out in groups such as the movies or the mall and avoiding any time that they can be alone.
Thank YOU!
You're all so great to share with me. I feel pretty much the same way. You all rock!
Hi, I am a homeshcooled 20 year old who is interested in a young lady in THAT way. Do my parents want to lock me up till I am 25? Yes! Absolutely! However, I was raised prepared for life with a gameplan when I reached this age. So? What do I do now? First, before I contact the girl and inform her of my feelings for her I look to see if I am prepared to take care of her the rest of her life. To date is to be prepared to marry. If not GET OUT OF IT and back to real life. Life is more than just fun and sex. (yeah, homeschoolers know that word.) So, since I cannot yet afford to marry the girl I will put my energy toward furthering my education and working as an engineer. (yeah, at 20) Girlfriends and dating take time (which engineers never have, energy (which engineers never have), and lots of money (which this intern engineer doesn't have yet).
So, back to the first question how do homeschoolers date? Can you marry her or him? Yes, then develop a relationship morally. No, then shut up and get back to work.
Oh yeah, in case anyone thought that all young people get involved in sex I am here to tell you that you are wrong. This was written by a virgin that has a 21 year old older brother who is a virgin, 3 younger sisters (ages 18, 16, & 14) who are all virgins, and attends a church with many more with the same story.
As a 16 year old home schooler, I thought I should leave my views on this matter:
My parents trust me completely, if I wanted to have a girlfriend I am sure I would be allowed. I disagree that a teen can never be left alone with their date. I can't be the only one responsible enough not to get into trouble.
Valuable resource of teen dating news summaries: http://ng2000.com/ng2000bb/YaBB.pl?num=1221610713
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